"There is a legend about a bird which sings just once in it's life, more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth. From the moment it leaves the nest it searches for a thorn tree, and does not rest until it has found one. Then singing among the savage branches, it rises above it's own agony to out-carol the lark and the nightingale. One superlative song, existence the price. But the whole world stills to listen, and God in the heaven smiles. For the best is only brought at the cost of great pain.....or so says the legend."

Taken from The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough
In an eerie way there was just something about this poem that really resonated with me. Yes clearly its tragic but I can just hear this birds peircing song whenever I read the poem. I think that this relates to my situation with self at this moment. I feel like I am on a mission to sing my one song where everyone shuts up and listens. Whatever medium that may be. It very well could be in painting but there is the likelihood that it could be in something else, I am extremely drawn to music but frightened at the same time by its intensity. I relate to the thorn bird poem because I have always felt that there was an inner voice inside that was being stifled. I long for that one release even if it may be just that one time. That one endless moment that lives on forever in the nostalgia.
Its also a situation of love. Love is such a strange emotion for me. Difficult, yet wonderful. Unforgettable yet daunting. I want it so very badly. I don't think that I have ever really felt love between another individual. I feel like I have so much to give. In a sense I feel like that fragile bird longing to sing its haunting song to the one that will come to it at last.